Running too fast.

Really Bummy picture. Sorry Love bugs. ūüė¶

Sometimes I have the tendency to run so fast that I forget to enjoy the scenery around me. As though I’m living in the moment yet everything is gong by so quickly that I’m hardly having enough time to sit back and savour the moment. Arrrgghhh! ¬†God is good though. He has given me the strength to run 2.75 miles today. ¬†I even made this healthy protein shake thing for diner. I’m so happy when I am at home, and right now while I’m blogging. Although at school I feel so distant as though I have mental pressed pause and I’m waiting to press play again. This is the thing….

Revelation time. Sit back and grab your popcorn & tea.

I’m ready. I’m mentally and¬†spiritually¬†ready. I’m not one of those seniors that’s just “over it” mid way through the year. But I’m over one thing. I’m sorry to talk about friends again but I want Christian friends that will challenge me¬†spiritually¬†and challenge me to be the best me I can be. I want to see my friends and see a reflection of God’s principles in them. I want boys friends that I can talk to about sexual challenges as¬†young¬†Christians¬†without it being “awkward”. I just need some¬†perspectives¬†from guys… I don’t have any brothers. *tear*

Although I feel as though in high school it’s more¬†difficult¬†to cut people out of my life. Where as in college I will have the confidence to say “Hey buddy, you aren’t a good influence on me. I can no longer be you friend because I believe God has a greater plan for me” The friend break-up won’t be that harsh but you get the picture.

Ciao Bella!

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No Shade

Hey Love Bugs!

No Shade-¬†A phrase you add at the beginning or the end of a sentence that can be seen as negative to somebody, but its not supposed to be, and just stating the obvious. Synonyms include, “no offense” or “don’t take it personally”¬†(Source UD)

I feel like when people say “no shade” they want to say an insult without actually meaning for it to be an insult. For example: “Hey girl that skirt really isn’t working for you! No Shade!” Or “Hey sista, how long have you had those braids in? No Shade!” Or… Well, I think you get my point. But this “No Shade” moment is directed towards my friends. The thing is prom is coming up this spring. Yay-hay! And the only thing that can assure my friend’s happiness for prom is¬†securing¬†a date.

*Sigh*

I personally could care less if I do or don’t have a date for prom. I’ve had oodles of fun with my friends at the past homecomings as we were the group of “single ladies”. Granted I did feel a ping of jealously/loneliness when I saw some of the cute couples— but that feeling was shaken off after I enjoyed pleasant after-homecoming events at the local IHOP! So why my friends are so worried about finding a date to prom boogles me. This may sound like a really petty¬†dilemma¬†and I bet in a year from now I will laugh at the post but this is my life at the moment.

So in conclusion, To my friends: You don’t need a date to prom to make the night special. No Shade!

And leave a comment below about any of your own “No Shade” moments.

Ciao Bella!

Re-evaluation starring my friends.

Let’s me make this very clear. I’m a very open person. Not open like a window or a book, but open enough that I tell my friends the truth when asked a question. There is no point of spreading rumors with “friends”. We should be open enough to share this and that. If I don’t feel as though I can share, I will just explain that I don’t feel like sharing at that moment. I’ve had it up to here with secrets. Secrets are a fancy way of saying “lie”. One of my best pet peeves is secrets. If you have a secret with another person there is no reason I should ever find out. Do not discuss it¬†in front¬†of me, it’s just plain rude. Because then I will want to know what this special “secret” is and my¬†curiosity¬†will be crushed when I can’t discover it.

The worst part about secrets is the trust issues that¬†accompanies them. Honestly it hurts. It hurts so much. Like you can’t trust me enough to tell me? How long have we been friends? I’ve¬†realized that I can’t keep having relationships like this. They are toxic. If I lose the confidence that my friends don’t trust me then I will harbor my emotions further. And I’m already a poor communicator. Oh, well. One more semester and then I will find friends that will trust me as much as I trust them. ūüôā

Ciao Bella!

Intimidation: White Guy Edition

Three things that scare me. Red lipsticks. Hipster fake glasses. (Not really hipster, but on another level of cool that I have yet to achieve) ¬†And the 80’s high side ponytail. It’s not that these things physically scare it, it’s just that I seem to lack the confidence to rock them. I guess I march to the beat of my own drum but the¬†melody¬†isn’t much different from everyone else’s.

Okay story time.

*cheers*

The other day I was running errands for my mother. If you didn’t already know, I’m always running errands for my mother. So she need me to return a sweater at Tj Max. As I walked in the store and stood in the exclusive “Return Only” line I spotted the cutest white male worker. Now this dude looked about my age (18/19- ish) Not only that but, he was like cute. *blush*

He had like the cutest¬†curls. Picture a white guy with mixed (mulatto) curls. He had this effortless smile and he was starring at me in line! AHHHH! Maybe it was my¬†cobalt¬†blue jacket? But I still convincing myself that he was looking at me, looking into my soul! ¬†Anyways I made the returns and walked out of the store. But I did turn back one more time just to take one last look at the cutie. He was doing put-backs (Retail lingo– means he was putting stuff from the dressing room back on the racks). I was going to go peruse the racks before I left but I thought¬†against¬†it. (Sidenote: If you aren’t alreay aware you don’t really shop at stores like Tj Max. You hunt! Looking for a piece of treasure)

If you haven’t noticed I’m black. Shocker! But I’m pretty open minded. I’m open to date¬†inter-racially. Like it’s 2012 people, let’s get with it. The problem is I’m so intimidated by white guys. I feel as though my chances of rejection from them skyrockets. Sometimes I even think maybe it’s not me… It’s them. Like do I have to scream that I’m not a¬†stereotypical¬†loud, attitude filled, gold-digger like the African American women portrayed in the media. I don’t want to put¬†filters¬†on the men I will date, because I don’t know what God has in store for me. This is so a Brandy Cinderella (1999) moment!

Go head Brandy. I bet she went to Tj Max

Oh well. I guess I’m just Ms. Independent waiting for God to send Mr. Incredible (The¬†Incredible s¬†are one of my favorite Pixar movies & I like strong dudes) ūüôā

Ciao Bella!