Happy.

God is good. I really cannot say that enough. This past week I had a job interview and I’m praying that I got the job. It’s been a long time since I have been truly happy. This week has been something else. My little sister, Fate, has been quite bratty lately. She is always raining on my parade. Here’s my thing, I’m usually always a happy or neutral person.  Fate’s rude and mood swing tendencies have made me totally feed up. After I talked to her and voiced how I didn’t appreciate her constant rudeness she has turned around. Hopefully next week we do not fight this same battle again. Besides that, I’m on cloud nine because my family may be traveling for Christmas. 🙂  The reason I really need a job is to fund my shopping addiction for my Christmas vacation!  God really has put me in a good spot. 

3 Not only so, but wealso glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

I know it may kinda cliché to quote the bible, but I can’t deny my love for God. I guess I have been able to see the light under the tunnel because I know I have God. Yes, I worry unnecessarily but I have a Rock. Honestly in the summer I went through the worst depression ever. Since this is my personal blog I feel as though I can explain. In June I learned I had not been accepted (chosen) as a Red Jackets. Red Jackets is a school program that select senior to be school ambassadors, like college orientation leaders. Ever since I started school, my freshmen year, the only thing I knew I wanted was to be a Red Jacket. I knew I couldn’t be valedictorian or a national merit scholar, I wasn’t fast enough to be a top athlete, and I couldn’t sing, act, or draw… But I knew I had one thing PERSONALITY!  After my interview for the program I was on cloud nine, anticipating the moment when I would have to cheer up my friends up who did not make it (Conceited, I know). But maybe the second to last day of school I learned I didn’t make the program. I was shocked. I ran to Mrs. McMin to ask what I did wrong, maybe there was a mistake—I thought. She smiled and refereed me to Mr. Hunt because she did not have my rubric. I visited Mr. Hunt’s office several times before Mrs. Green finally told me he was available to chat. I politely asked Mr. Hunt why I did not make the program. Without taking out my rubric sheet Mr. Hunt gave me a generic answer about how several students had applied and how I was “so close”. Unfortunately I lost a little respect for Mr. Hunt that day. As a man I had admired for the past three years at the high school, he did not bother to specifically tell me how I could improve.  Everything crashed down upon me that week. The week earlier I had lost the election as senior class treasurer. Although I had worked hard to come up with a creative “rap” speech I did not win over the votes of my fellow peers. Towards the end of May and start of June I felt worthless. For a slight second, I let the worthlessness consume me. I thought back at all the things I tried at CHS… Soccer- I didn’t make the team, EVI Scholarship—I didn’t get that. Teen leadership—rejected once again.  The legacy I thought I would leave at CHS, was more of an allusion than reality.  I spent a lot of time in my dark bedroom… sometimes with a harden heart, sometimes with wet eyes. If you are still reading….thank you!  Anyways I eventually learned that my happiness lies in God. I know he has a plan for my life and that my time at CHS is merely a rough patch for the land of milk and honey to come.

Ciao Bella!

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